Monday, June 13, 2011

The PMS Drill Sergeant

Saturday night, I was feeling exceptionally frustrated by life. We had just gotten a new dog for the significant other (who will be known as "S.O." forthwith), and the dog proceeded to mark on my favorite foot stool (just like male dogs do - the reason why I didn't want a male dog, but S.O. insisted).  I Googled things that we could do to prevent the dog from marking in the house, but I don't think the S.O. took them seriously.

One item on the list was, when walking the dog, don't allow him to mark every tree, pole, etc. Take him to a designated spot and only then allow him to relieve his bladder if needed. Halfway through the walk, S.O. had allowed the dog to mark no less than 3 times. In my frustration, I said in my best happy-go-luck-passive-aggressive voice, "Looks like our parenting styles are going to clash."  He then told me to lighten up and called me a fucking drill sergeant. He said, "you have your way, and I have mine". To which I replied, "Then go your way."  I promptly reversed my course with my (FEMALE) dog, and took a different route. I told him not to follow.

I returned home to find him already there, and I proceeded with the girlfriend silent treatment. He pushed and pushed and pushed and wanted to talk. I didn't. I wanted to wallow in my self-pity that my boyfriend thought I was a drill sergeant and male ANYTHINGS were awful to have around (except maybe my son who is the only awesome man on the planet).  I was so sad, mad, angry and hot-flashy all at the same time, that I wished I could just disappear from the planet never to return.

The silent treatment led to crazy dreams, and in one, I vividly recall stating, "Shit. My period started early!"  I woke the next day (Sunday) with a better attitude and severe cramps. I started spotting Sunday night (4 days earlier than I should have), and then the whole world made sense again.

When will he learn not to f with me in my cycle??????????

No comments:

Post a Comment