So last month (June), I started my period about 4 - 5 days early (on 6/13). This month, I started my period on 7/8!!! WTF?!?!?!?!
One interesting note: I didn't notice PMS symptoms so much this month. I only bled for 5 days (as opposed to the normal 7), and the cramping was ridiculously painful! Like, almost passing out pain. Bear in mind that I've had 3 kids and bunch of kidney stones, not to mention numerous breaks and sprains, etc (I'm not the most graceful girl in the world). I know pain. And this pain SUCKED.
Oh well. At least I don't have to worry about being on my period when I spend next week on Oahu. It coulda been dangerous being shark bait and all (especially only 7 days before the official start of "Shark Week"!).
Monday, July 18, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
The PMS Drill Sergeant
Saturday night, I was feeling exceptionally frustrated by life. We had just gotten a new dog for the significant other (who will be known as "S.O." forthwith), and the dog proceeded to mark on my favorite foot stool (just like male dogs do - the reason why I didn't want a male dog, but S.O. insisted). I Googled things that we could do to prevent the dog from marking in the house, but I don't think the S.O. took them seriously.
One item on the list was, when walking the dog, don't allow him to mark every tree, pole, etc. Take him to a designated spot and only then allow him to relieve his bladder if needed. Halfway through the walk, S.O. had allowed the dog to mark no less than 3 times. In my frustration, I said in my best happy-go-luck-passive-aggressive voice, "Looks like our parenting styles are going to clash." He then told me to lighten up and called me a fucking drill sergeant. He said, "you have your way, and I have mine". To which I replied, "Then go your way." I promptly reversed my course with my (FEMALE) dog, and took a different route. I told him not to follow.
I returned home to find him already there, and I proceeded with the girlfriend silent treatment. He pushed and pushed and pushed and wanted to talk. I didn't. I wanted to wallow in my self-pity that my boyfriend thought I was a drill sergeant and male ANYTHINGS were awful to have around (except maybe my son who is the only awesome man on the planet). I was so sad, mad, angry and hot-flashy all at the same time, that I wished I could just disappear from the planet never to return.
The silent treatment led to crazy dreams, and in one, I vividly recall stating, "Shit. My period started early!" I woke the next day (Sunday) with a better attitude and severe cramps. I started spotting Sunday night (4 days earlier than I should have), and then the whole world made sense again.
When will he learn not to f with me in my cycle??????????
One item on the list was, when walking the dog, don't allow him to mark every tree, pole, etc. Take him to a designated spot and only then allow him to relieve his bladder if needed. Halfway through the walk, S.O. had allowed the dog to mark no less than 3 times. In my frustration, I said in my best happy-go-luck-passive-aggressive voice, "Looks like our parenting styles are going to clash." He then told me to lighten up and called me a fucking drill sergeant. He said, "you have your way, and I have mine". To which I replied, "Then go your way." I promptly reversed my course with my (FEMALE) dog, and took a different route. I told him not to follow.
I returned home to find him already there, and I proceeded with the girlfriend silent treatment. He pushed and pushed and pushed and wanted to talk. I didn't. I wanted to wallow in my self-pity that my boyfriend thought I was a drill sergeant and male ANYTHINGS were awful to have around (except maybe my son who is the only awesome man on the planet). I was so sad, mad, angry and hot-flashy all at the same time, that I wished I could just disappear from the planet never to return.
The silent treatment led to crazy dreams, and in one, I vividly recall stating, "Shit. My period started early!" I woke the next day (Sunday) with a better attitude and severe cramps. I started spotting Sunday night (4 days earlier than I should have), and then the whole world made sense again.
When will he learn not to f with me in my cycle??????????
Friday, June 10, 2011
An Introduction to My Current "Crazy"
I'm almost 42, and I've been experiencing hot flashes during the week before my period for about the last 2 years or so. My menstrual cycle, while still every 28 days (oh, lucky me!) has become a full 2-week affair with misery every single month. I'm a beastly caricature of myself for the week leading up to the actual surfing of the crimson tide, and then I bleed for 7 days straight (without dying!).
Just whose idea was it to increase the human lifespan past the age of 40 anyway?? What kind of sick joke is that? There's a reason people died off early in the "olden days" - not just because they had crap health and lacked modern medical advances - it's because we bitches weren't meant to actually live long enough to endure this hell known as hormonal imbalance, extreme PMS, perimenopause, menopause, etc.
Female hormones are the ultimate cosmic joke. Thanks for the laughs, I'm done now.
Just whose idea was it to increase the human lifespan past the age of 40 anyway?? What kind of sick joke is that? There's a reason people died off early in the "olden days" - not just because they had crap health and lacked modern medical advances - it's because we bitches weren't meant to actually live long enough to endure this hell known as hormonal imbalance, extreme PMS, perimenopause, menopause, etc.
Female hormones are the ultimate cosmic joke. Thanks for the laughs, I'm done now.
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